The Talk: What Women Wish You Knew

I don’t pretend to be an expert on the topic, “What Women Wish You Knew,” but I am fascinated by God’s decision to create gender. Think about it. How odd. God is without limitations and omniscient. Why gender? Don’t tell me it was reproduction. There must be a million ways God could have designed propagation, and He chose gender.

What was He thinking? The same species, yet vastly different. Entirely separate and independent but only by cooperation in the most intimate way, can the human race reproduce and survive. Amazing stuff …if you don’t take it for granted. He made us male and female; the same but different. Physical differences are mostly obvious but some differences are less obvious yet equally significant.

The average female typically outlives males by three or four years.A woman’s metabolism is normally slower than a man’s which explains why men lose weight more easily. (I just heard all the women yell, “I knew it!”)Women on average have shorter heads, broader faces, less protruding chins, shorter legs and longer trunks. A woman’s blood contains more water and 20% fewer red blood cells causing women on average to tire more easily and be more inclined to faint.On average, men possess 50% more brute strength. (40% of a man’s body weight is muscle, and only 23% for a typical woman.) And a woman’s heart beats 80x/minute, a man’s only 72x/minute.

But wait, that’s not all. There are also proven “non-physiological differences” that have been documented between the genders. John Gray’s 1992 classic, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,” lists a few. Among other things, Gray writes:

We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways – the ways we react and behave when we love someone. To feel better Venusians get together and openly talk about their problems. Martians tend to go to their caves to solve their problems alone.A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding a solution to her problems, but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed…woman are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed because it makes him feel like a failure. The number one complaint women have in relationships is, “I don’t feel heard.” The number one complaint men have in relationships is that women are always trying to change him. The biggest challenge for most women is to correctly interpret and support a man when he isn’t talking. Men believe a woman wants him to solve her problems when what she really wants is empathy. A woman wants to nurture the man she loves, but it feels like she is trying to control him. He wants her acceptance, not her advice.

Gender is not neutral. It is part of God’s wonderful design for all mankind, no matter if you are married or single, young or old, we live in a gender-affected environment. The world tells us men and women are the same and should be treated that way. While I believe in equal-rights and fair treatment under the law, I am not willing to deny the truth of God-created differences. It is important that Christians and Christian churches let their voice be heard and God’s Word be honored.

Through God-inspired wisdom, Solomon wrote, “Two are better than one for they have a good return for their efforts. If either of them falls, the other can lift up his companion, but woe to the one who falls and there is no one to lift him up.” While his comments are not specifically gender focused, the truth applies to the topic. We need each other. The world of God’s design is better because of gender diversity than without it.

The Christian faith provides the proper perspective when it comes to understanding and honoring the opposite sex. In his letter to the Christians at Philippi, Paul reminded people in relationships to think of the other person before thinking of themselves, then added, “Have this attitude in your life that was demonstrated by your Savior, Jesus, who although He was God-with-us, did not demand the recognition He deserved but emptied Himself and became our servant even to the point of death on a cross.” Honoring the differences and humbly helping each other will result in a much better life, better homes, and a better world.

The Scripture

Genesis 2:22–25

• What has been your most important discovery about the difference between the genders?
• Why do you think God waited to make woman and made her from the man rather than from the dust of the ground like He made Adam?
• What about being a Christian is different from the culture on the matter of gender?

Survey

What is the biggest influence in factoring what women want?

A. Upbringing
B. Biblical Teachings
C. Role Models
D. Culture

Click here to take the survey and take a moment to leave a thought or opinion.

Online

If you were unable to attend services last weekend or would like to hear a message on this concept, visit our homepage at www.stjstl.net and click on a teaching link. A Bible study is also available for you to download.

LIVEstreaming

St. John Church is now live streaming Sunday service at 9:15am and 11:00am.
Join us at http://www.stjstl.net/media/live-stream/

A Prayer

Lord, you have made us each unique, with different talents and gifts. Help us to appreciate those around us, to value them as you do and to be generous to others in our words and actions. Thank you for all the women in our lives who have helped to shape and mold us, for their influence and their lasting impression. Be with all those who are uncelebrated by others, that they would know your love. Amen.

Prayer Requests

In need of prayer? E-mail your prayer request to and our staff, our prayer partners, and the people of St. John will pray for you. Or consider joining our Prayer Ministry by either being on a team that meets once a month, or by receiving prayer requests through our email prayer chain.

Brief Notes

Click on the links below to learn more about what's going on at St. John!

• Friday Frenzie Move-up on May 17 for Current 3rd-4th Graders and Their Friends!
• Avoid the long lines and pre-register your child for Kingdom Rock Vacation Bible School by June 2.

Stephen Hower, Pastor

Challenging the status quo to awaken an appreciation for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Phil. 3:13,14
(and to lower my golf score)

To subscribe to E-dify, a periodic e-mail to encourage and inform, please and type, “Subscribe” in the Subject line. To unsubscribe to E-dify, please click here  and type, “Unsubscribe” in the Subject line.  Or better yet, forward E-dify to a friend who needs God’s encouragement.

Great Humility

The message last Sunday focused on the humility of Jesus as demonstrated near the end of his life when he washed the feet of His disciples. The Lord’s humility, as we examined it, is the key to our salvation. As one of the apostle’s wrote:

“Jesus, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!”

After washing the disciples’ feet, Jesus explained his action by saying, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”

It is ironic but true; there is power in humility. Pride, the opposite of humility, robs us of power and limits our influence. I also recalled a story about Norman Vincent Peale (minister and author) when he was feeling uncharacteristically nervous before a major speaking opportunity. His wife knelt to pray with him saying, “Dear God forgive my husband for being full of himself. Forgive him for thinking more about how good he will perform rather than the good you will perform through him! Forgive him his arrogance Lord. Purge him of selfish thoughts and equip him to be your spokesman to help others! Amen.”

Wives have a way of keeping husbands humble. Carol is by nature an encourager, but not especially impressed by my Bible knowledge, leadership ability or intelligence. She tells it like it is, believing the Psalmist was right when he wrote, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” In other words… your true friends will speak the truth to you when everyone else praises you in public but gossips behind your back.

This past weekend was a perfect example. For the first time in a while, I had a Saturday off; no wedding to conduct and a seminary student was preaching at the 5pm Traditions service. With no Saturday commitment I asked Carol if she wanted to go to the Fox on Friday night. I love the Fox. The architecture is stunning. Every year we try to find a couple of reasons to attend an event there just so we can enjoy the surroundings. Carol agreed, so I checked online and bought the best seats for what seemed a reasonable cost. I went to a site that actually let you chose your seat that has a camera picture of what the stage looked like from the various locations. Awesome! We’d be in front row in the second section of the balcony. Woot woot!

We got there in good time – which means “way too early for some.” (Just another indication to Carol that I’m getting old before my time.) It turned out arriving early was too our advantage. When the ticket-checker passed my online tickets under her bar-scanner an alarm sounded, indicating we were there on the wrong night. The great tickets I bought were for the following Friday –a minor error on my part. Carol was not surprised by the stupidity of my mistake.

I made no attempt to justify my error or even beg for mercy. I humbly accepted the blame and turned to leave, but the gracious ticket-taker said, “Let me see if I can help.” Before I knew it she took me to the box-office counter and signaled for the manager to take a look at our tickets. He disappeared behind the door and returned with reissued tickets for the correct night saying, “I was actually able to locate some better tickets for you.” Woot woot! I turned to my much-embarrassed wife and said… “See this is how God works. If you are humble and admit your mistakes, God turns your stupidity into blessing.” (She wasn’t buying it.)

Jesus finished the foot washing experience with an important statement saying, “If you know these things you will be blessed if you do them.” When I humbly acknowledge that my good standing before God has nothing to do with my achievement, my faithfulness or my good behavior, it gives me confidence in life. I look at the cross and immediately see the depth of God’s love. I look at the vastness of the world God made and am immediately reminded of His unlimited power. Who should I fear? What situation do I face that is beyond His reach? No one and nothing.

Some believe that humility is an open invitation to be abused. Godly humility is just the opposite, an invitation for God’s power to be unleashed in your life. It might even score you better seats at the Fox!

The Scripture

“You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.” John 13:13-17

• Would you rather be the host or a guest at an event? Explain your answer.
• Why is it difficult for some to have other people wait on them?
• What was the point Jesus was trying to make? How does it reflect on His ultimate mission?

Survey

How have you learned to become more humble?

A. Through the model of others
B. Trial and error
C. Through service

Click here to take the survey and take a moment to leave a thought or opinion.

Online

If you were unable to attend services last week or would like to hear a message based on Matthew’s account of Jesus birth, visit our website at www.stjstl.net and click on a teaching link. A Bible study is also available for you to download.

LIVEstreaming

St. John Church is now live streaming Sunday service at 9:15am and 11:00am.
Join us at http://www.stjstl.net/media/live-stream/

A Prayer

Father, give us the humility which realizes its ignorance, admits its mistakes, recognizes its need, welcomes advice and accepts rebuke. Help us to always praise rather than to criticize, sympathize rather than to discourage, to build rather than to destroy and to think of people at their best rather than at their worst. Amen.

Prayer Requests

In need of prayer? E-mail your prayer request to and our staff, our prayer partners, and the people of St. John will pray for you. Or consider joining our Prayer Ministry by either being on a team that meets once a month, or by receiving prayer requests through our email prayer chain.

Brief Notes

Click on the links below to learn more about what's going on at St. John!

• Invest in others and yourself. Attend the Chick-fil-A Leadercast on May 10. Find out all the information here.
• Friday Frenzie Move-up on May 17 for Current 3rd-4th Graders and Their Friends!
• Volunteer Opportunities Available for Students finishing 5th grade through adults at Kingdom Rock Vacation Bible School.
• Do your children attend Children’s Ministry on Sundays at 9:15am or 11:00am? If so, we’re having a Sneak Peek on their classroom, leaders and programming for next year on Sunday, May 12. You’ll still drop off and pick up your child in this year’s classroom. We invite you to attend this day, too, so you’ll know more about your child’s Sunday morning experience.

Stephen Hower, Pastor

Challenging the status quo to awaken an appreciation for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Phil. 3:13,14
(and to lower my golf score)

To subscribe to E-dify, a periodic e-mail to encourage and inform, please and type, “Subscribe” in the Subject line. To unsubscribe to E-dify, please click here  and type, “Unsubscribe” in the Subject line.  Or better yet, forward E-dify to a friend who needs God’s encouragement.